Age of The Nerd
2016 has turned out to be a bit of a mixed bag as far as judging what a good movie is this year. It didn’t exactly get off to a great start when Batman v Superman was harshly criticised by detractors and the public alike although fantasy and animated pictures have had their fair share of critical success. With the emergence of some cracking television reboots, movies have been given some stern competition. Some would say that pictures have even taken a back seat to television at this point!
Maybe it is preferable to just suggest that this year has been an isolated one for subpar movies considering 2017 is promising to be a great year, especially for superhero fans. Yes, superhero fatigue has not set in just yet for most of us, it seems!
Below are 5 personal picks of some of this year’s worst movies.
Do you agree or disagree?
Sound off in the comments below!
31
Rob Zombie’s 7th film, 31 tell the story of a group of people who find themselves having to survive against a group of mad killers dressed as clowns in a deserted theme park. It hardly contained an original narrative. Furthermore, Zombie’s surreal 1970’s documentary style of filming is fast becoming tedious and it makes you wonder if he is a one trick pony.
Come on Rob, we know you can do better than this!
10 Cloverfield Lane
The Cloverfield sequel caught many of us off guard when it was announced only a short time before it’s theatrical release. But anybody hoping for a straight continuation will be disappointed. A young woman mysteriously finds herself locked up in a bunker with two other strangers after suffering a car accident. She is told that something terrible has happened in the open world, leaving lasting effects of radiation. But is she being told the truth?
For the most part, 10 Cloverfield Lane appears to have no connection to the sleeper hit original until perhaps the final five minutes. And even that is debatable! But aside from that, the film fails to build enough effective tension for us to care what unfolds. There is no doubt that most who view this film will be waiting for some kind of familiarity to the first film but that sadly never arrives. Considering that the original script was supposed to be for an altogether different movie, modified to be a “Cloverfield sequel,” is it any wonder that the film’s vision was somewhat conflicting?
The Girl On The Train
It is of this writer’s firm belief that a movie requires a memorable pay off in it’s final act to leave a lasting impression and give the audience a solid reward for sitting it through. And while The Girl On The Train‘s first act is captivating enough to potentially pull you in, unfortunately it’s ending is quite predictable. Perhaps the movie was being given too much credit while it was being viewed, but it’s novel counterpart was a fast seller and spent months being on the Best Seller List, so it is only fair that high expectations were set.
But what we ended up with was a run of the mill love affair that results in predictable murder. Of course, the reveal of who did it is kept secret until the end. The Girl On The Train is one of them films that promises something special but ends up falling flat on it’s face and not delivering on it’s promise. Except for showing Emily Blunt mainly stumbling around with a puzzled look on her face. Like in the above picture, for example.
It’s not a terrible mystery movie by any stretch. Just do not put it on a pedestal before you have seen it.
Independence Day: Resurgence
Will Smith’s agent must know what he is doing because he made the right decision if he advised the actor to not bother with this dreadful follow up to the 1996 Summer popcorn classic.
Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum return in their respective roles, but it does not look as if they are both doing much these days. You know the story, so there is no point filling you in since it is an exact copy. And it is clear that the script was developed purely to cash in on the 20th anniversary of the 1996 movie, such are it’s technical deficiencies. They could not even come up with another way to end it and instead relied on what worked for the one before.
Just do yourself a favour, pop in the Blu Ray or DVD of the original and remind yourself of a time when these types of movies were taking a lot more seriously instead of being rushed and pumped out every year like they are now.
Kindergarten Cop 2
Dolph Lundgren must be another actor with a lot of spare time on his hands. Why it was thought that a sequel to Kindergarten Cop without Arnold Schwarzenegger would make millions is anybody’s guess but the studio execs.
While Arnie proved that he has a comedic flair, Lundgren, with the help of a poor script devoid of smart humour, evidently does not. It cannot be recalled if there was even half a chuckle when watching this straight to DVD rubbish.
Boring, bland and predictable are three words that fit Kindergarten Cop 2 aptly. It is yet another reminder why making sequels so many years after their successful predecessors are indeed a risky move!
