Age of The Nerd
We’re alive, Ageists! And back with another seat-of-the-pants review of what is quickly becoming Cable TV’s quirkiest show.
When we left last week, Lionel had risen from the dead and was about to do bad things to Det. Fisher. But never fear… Lucy Lawless’ Ruby (yes, she has an name now) intervenes in the nick of time, nailing poor, Deadite Lionel to the wall with a handy-dandy broken table leg. He mocks her by name, again telling her that she is too late to grab Ash.
Det Fisher gets the lowdown after that. Ruby is the daughter of poor Annie Knowby (Sarah Barry) who met her end in Ash’s cabin some 30 years ago (Evil Dead II). Ever since she was orphaned, she swore revenge on Ash and the Deadites. The thirty years hence has gotten Ruby into high levels of Bad-Assdom. As she frees Fisher, she reveals the method that she has been using to track Ash since the new Deadite plague started. His own, long-forgotten, evil infested, severed hand, which now twitches every time it gets near its former owner. Now, that’s using your head! (or your hand, or…well, nevermind).
Speaking of our one handed hero, he, Pablo and Kelly are tearing down the Michigander Highway to Hell, aimed towards Pablo’s uncle’s place. As mentioned before, Pablo’s uncle is a Brujo, whose catch-all spirituality is in a position to help save the day. Despite Kelly’s headache, the turn of events is so good that Ash gives Pablo leave to break the Chris Tucker Rules of the Road.
As Pablo kicks out the jams, however, something stirs within the dark forest nearby. An evil wind is blowing Ageists… One that comes directly for our heroes’ Buick.
The trio finds themselves being chased down, fighting tooth and nail just to stay on the road. Fortunately, Ash has a secret weapon ready to aid their escape. A Nitrous tank stands ready to boost the engine’s speed to Batmobile levels of Ludicrous Speed. (Hey, before you complain, you know Ash must have watched Cobra a few times) A tap to the red button and they’re gone of ahead of the ill-intentioned tornado.
Pablo gives the signal for a hasty turn off into a gated compound. The wind is stopped cold by the talisman strewn layout of Pablo’s Brujo uncle home. Uncle Brujo isn’t so glad to see Pablo though, having considered him to abandoned the family business to work at S-Mart. Ash encourages him by telling him that he was in the Electronics Department, which was a sure sign of success.
After relaying to Uncle Brujo that Ash is the Jefe promised by legend, a decision is made to help him reach his inner center and find a solution. While the two older men bicker and jockey, we see that Kelly’s headache has been made worse by the presence of the Brujo’s talismans. As her head pounds, something almost seems to flash before eyes. She cries out, only to be met by the stares of the others when nothing is found in front of her. Pablo’s Uncle suggests she and Pablo retire while he begins the ritual to help Ash.
Inside the Brujo’s tent, he explains to Ash that he can help him with the aid of hallucinogenic Mezcal. Well, you don’t have to tell Ash twice! He puts down the powerful potion like a man drinking fruit juice.
Meanwhile back at the trailer, Kelly is having a lie down while Pablo puts his electronic expertise to use by making Ash a new robot hand. Kelly’s headache turns out not just to be a Motrin moment. No, as we see her pupils turn black, we realize that she is being possessed by Eligos, our demonic playmate from last ep. Just as Pablo comes in to check on her, Eligos takes full control.
Even though it looks like Kelly, we know that it’s a certain Cenobite reject inside. When Pablo asks her to plug in his 
makeshift hand, she/he uses the opportunity to zap him into unconsciousness.
Back with Ash and Uncle Brujo, the effects of the Mescal are finally hitting our hero. Just as he sees a an eye gumball in the Brujo’s mouth, he conks out… And wakes up to find himself reliving Alice In Chains “Man in the Box” video. Blind, staggering and surrounded by Evil Dead, Ash hears the voice of the Brujo, commanding him to use the hallucinogen to his advantage.
Ash agrees. It’s his trip after all.. And Fundakelic was right after all these years. Ash frees his mind and finds his ass in Jacksonville, FL.
It’s a good life in Jacksonville. In fact as he tells Uncle Brujo it was Jacksonville he always wanted to go to, not that dumb cabin where this whole thing started. He even has two hands here! That, of course, means two beers.
While Ash is in Florida-Land, Kelly busts in and tells Uncle Brujo that Pablo is hurt. He tells her to keep an eye on Ash while he checks on Pablo. Kelly/Eligos agrees with an evil grin.
In the Mezcal Zone, Ash is enjoying his zen-like conversation with his iguana when the buzz goes bad. Eligos is in his mind and is trying to zap his brain cells again. But Ash, after further iguana guidance, is having none of that. He starts whipping major Eligos booty. The only problem is whatever he doing in the dreamworld, he’s also acting out in the real world. To Kelly’s detriment.
Uncle Brujo and Pablo get there just in time to stop Ash from throttling Kelly to death. Ash goes under again, leaving the others confused about why he reacted so violently to little, sweet Kelly so violently.
As the credits roll with the voices of George Clinton and Gary Shider, we are left with a couple of major chewing points. First, Ruby’s revelation gives the whole series some new pathos. Is she the daughter that Ash never had? Or the one he never wanted? Is Eligos here to stay or can Kelly be rescued? Will Ash finally figure out that he needs to go back to where this all started? And who was smart enough to throw in a shout out to Parliament-Funkadelic in this ep.?
All these questions and other I’m sure will be waiting for us next week. Eat hardy and be read to burn some more rubber down the Road to Perdition this Saturday!
