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March 23, 2015

“Top Five” Worst Adam Sandler films

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Written by: Tommy Bolden
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I haven’t willingly watched an Adam Sandler film since Groan ups….I mean Grown ups (the first one). But much to my dismay someone at my place of work watched the new Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore vehicle, Blended. This led them to talk about it at work and laugh about it and tell most people (including me, because he knows I am film critic) about the movie. With the upcoming release of Adam Sandler’s Sci-Fi/Comedy Pixels, starring usual pal Kevin James, I thought it would be fun to focus on the horrible pieces of cinema Mr. Sandler has provided to us in the recent years. I am not going to be reviewing any particular film, but instead I am going to look back on the worst Adam Sandler films.  Unlike most of my countdowns there, will not be any rules for this, and I will also list my reasons why these films are on this countdown. So grit your teeth, bare the load, and get ready for this ride down Adam Sandler row. 

5. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

This movie is painful and not so much because it’s just a bad movie, but for the main reason that up to this point, I enjoyed Kevin James. Kevin James’ standup is hilarious and Kevin James in King Of Queens is great. This movie is everything but that. It basically erased everything funny about Kevin James and made it overbearing. Not too mention this “Issue” comedy probably set Gay Rights back a few years. Both men play firefighters who pretend to be gay and they get married for the insurance benefits, giving them both lots of opportunities to traffic in ugly stereotypes (several of them courtesy of frequent Sandler collaborator Nick Swardson in a supporting role). At the end this movie tries to preach tolerance but ends up just being shallow.

4. Groan Ups 2…Grown Ups 2.

I Sat in silence as this movie lumbered through its borrowed time. Where to start with this one? Well besides having no plot, there really isn’t anything funny about this movie. I couldn’t laugh at one thing which is bad because even in the worst Sandler films I could find at least one thing to laugh at. This film is basically like a western, Adam Sandler and his outlaw gang of non-threating washed up SNL wasted talent basically laughs at you because they stole your ten dollars…that’s about right. A poorly written script–wait that’s not right. A horrible and lazy script combine with even worse acting that actually makes the first film look like Casablanca.

3. 50 First Dates

Oh my Sweet lord, I thought this movie was never going to end. This movie just went on and on and on and on and on and on and on……….I wish I had Barrymore’s condition in this film, so I could forget this useless hunk of garbage. Yes I know this is to me is worse than Grown ups two and it’s because this film just never ends. Even after it was over I thought it was going to go on after the credits. I don’t pay money to see Adam Sandler be good hearted. I pay to see Adam Sandler Give me a Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore and this is when I knew it was over for Sandler. This marked his decline in my mind mainly because this is the last time I would go to the theater to watch Sandler.

2. You Don’t Mess With the Zohan

Zohan is a regurgitated Shitfest unleashed upon us by the brilliant minds of comedian Adam Sandler and director Dennis Dugan. If you couldn’t hear the sarcasm seeping out of that sentence then you obviously have Sandlerhumorsyndorm (yes I just made that up, you’re welcome). Once again Sandler has a movie that never ends is followed by more overused gross out humor and basically rams a racists storyline down your mouth. I hated the trailer and I hated the movie even more. I can’t even remember this movie mainly because for most of it I sat in shock wondering what the hell I was watching.

Dishonorable mentions

  • That’s My Boy- When vanilla Ice is the best part youre in trouble.
  • Just Go With It- A lazy gross-out romantic comedy.
  • Little Nikki- I am not going into this.

1. Jack and Jill

Yeah I didn’t leave much up for grabs for number 1 did I? Well that’s perfectly fine, i’m sure you saw this coming a mile away. Jack and Jill is what most communist governments use to torture prisoners of war, this is far worse than being watered boarded or having your testicles shocked by a car battery. Jack and Jill is like a brainwashing mechanism that was used in “A Clockwork Orange”. When the FBI breaks down the doors of cult houses this is the film that is playing after the cult members drink the death punch. You see to describe this film and go in depth would possibly drive me to madness, you would find me dead in my bath tub because I tired to write a complete review on this dog turd. Sandler somehow made a career killing film that didn’t kill his career which is mind boggling on its own. Al Pacino is in this film and I have a theory, this movie cost 79 million to make and they paid Pacino 70 million to be in it, that’s the only way.

We apologize if your a big Adam Sandler fan, but we would love to hear you defend him! Let us know what you think of this weeks “Top Five” in the comments section below.

About the Author

Tommy Bolden
I watch horrible movies so you don't have to. D.C comics fan, WWE fan and sports fan.



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